Me molesting a statue. Oh, come on! It’s an inanimate object.

Oh, la, la. Aren't I just the belle of the ball!

From the time I was a young teen, I have enjoyed having pictures taken of me molesting (licking, petting, looking at with ‘sexy eyes’) trees and statues. What can I say? I love nature, and I love art. So, this love can only lead to my sticking a finger in a statue’s ear or pretending it goosed me.

See what I mean? One Wet Willie coming up!

I save the tree-licking for my very exclusive facebook page where I friend people at random. Such boldness is usually inspired by a couple of lemoncello martinis or whiskey sours. The licking? No! The friending. Oh, the many rejections I have faced. The worst is when I get defriended. Garsh. What part of a random stranger friending you and commenting relentlessly is bothersome? I don’t get it.

How saucy! I should slap him.
You goose me one more time, and I swear I will tear your nerd spectacles from your nerd face.

BTW, do you have any idea how hard it is for me to type ‘statue’ instead of ‘statute’? [oooh. The quote went before the punctuation. How un-Chicago Manual of Style for Sheep of me.]

Sorry, sorry, sorry! This was all my fault. Somehow, I doubt you care about my heartfelt apology.

Oh, the friend that my hubster brought with him was slightly disturbed yet laughing at the scene. He couldn’t imagine how I got Sergio to the point where he was immune to my social gaffes. Well, it’s just a question of exposure.

What’s nice is that Sergio did not take crappy blurred shots this time. Of course, I did have to scream at him through my smile to tell him to keep his hands still. DAMMIT THE CAMERA IS NOT DONE.