Abstraction and Shapes: St. Louis Cemetery No. 1

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Geometric Abstraction

Used to be, I could spend hours shooting different angles and vistas in the St. Louis Cemetery No. 1 in New Orleans. Now you have to be a part of an official tour group. Why? Rampant vandalism.

Thanks, assholes! Brilliant damn idea to vandalize a cemetery.

how faux-emo of you; gosh, you just rage against the machine; much point made painting a famous tomb a hideous bright pink. MUCH.POINT.MADE.; no narcissists here; fake anarchists

st-louis-no-1-cemetery-color
Angles Blocking and Hidden Horizon

The light side:

At first, the Catholic Church refused visitors other than family members of the deceased. I completely understand. It took thousands of dollars to clean up the stupid mess. I’m not religious, but I do respect history and the emotional connection people have to geographical locations and certain architectural structures. (No, really. I am attached to a couple of tangible items and would be sad if they were damaged by some dumbass.)

The church then decided that visitors would be allowed as long as they are accompanied by a responsible adult AKA a tour guide. Considering what (fake anarchist) people were doing, this is a fair outcome.

Also, I learned a great deal about body decomposition in New Orleans. If I had just been focusing on taking pictures, I would not have learned what I did from my tour guide. The pressure of having two kids with me along with the time limitations also led me to make abstractions and focus on angles instead of documenting the place. I hadn’t done that in the past.

Tour: French Quarter Phantoms  I took two tours from them with Sam, who has a passion for the history of New Orleans. I love historians! Knowledge is power. It’s the one thing no one can take from you.

Moss!

As far as plant cuteness goes, there is a tie between pussy willows and moss. I happened upon a small patch while looking for fossils with my 8 year old.

moss-austin
Plush moss near Hamilton Pool Road.

This area of Texas is fairly dry and rocky, so you wouldn’t expect to find moss hiding out under the trees. But there it is! Bein’ all cute with its wittle teddy bear fuzz.

Chile Pequin Recipe: Eat the Landscape

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Ingredients for a chile piquin hot sauce–Tabasco style.

 

I’ve dried these in the oven before for ground red pepper. You can also wait for them to dry on the plant. Then you cut the stems and shake the peppers off. 

You can pick the green or red peppers and use them in salsa–however you’d use a hot pepper.

There’s a lot of educational stuff below the recipe. Read it if you are interested in using more of your landscape for food. You probably should read it because, you know, zombie apocalypse. You’ll need this information when that happens.

Ingredients

  1. 1/2 cup chile pequin peppers (AKA Chile petin, Bird pepper, Turkey pepper)
  2. 1/2 cup onion
  3. 1.5 tbsp. minced garlic
  4. 1 cup vinegar
  5. Salt to taste

 

RECIPE (Go see Emeril Lagasse for a better explanation.)

  1. Get a kid to harvest the red berries of the Grand Chile Pequin. This will cost you a few additional dollars for allowance. But the tedium you avoid is worth a 5 note. I don’t use the green berries because they aren’t as fragrant.
  2. Emeril’s recipe: He says 20 serranos or tabascos. Depending on your love of spiciness, get 1/4 cup to 1/2 cup of the pequin peppers.
  3. A clove or two of minced garlic. I also mush mine with the knife and some salt. Mom taught me to do that.
  4. A half of a medium onion. He says to slice thinly. It hardly matters because:
  5. Sautee for 3 minutes. Put 2 cups of water in and cook down for about 20 minutes until the liquid is gone.
  6. Blender. With a cup of vinegar. He said to use white vinegar, so I did. I doubt something untoward will happen should you use white wine vinegar. BUT WHO KNOWS. I live dangerously.
  7. Sieve it. Then do it again. And again. And again. Until you’ve got more of a liquid than a thick Pepper Smoothie.
  8. Put in a sterile (boiled 10 minutes) jar. Lid. Put in fridge for at least 2 weeks. Because Emeril says so.

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ALL THE GOOD INFORMATION

Chile pequin is an excellent landscaping bush for scorching, dry locations. And you can eat the berries. Well, peppers. Those suckers are hot! I prefer to plant bushes that serve a dual purpose. Either feed me or some animal around here–or be gone. You can’t just sit here looking pretty!

Being a native plant, the piquin has done swimmingly through both the droughts and the rains. It’s found throughout the Americas. If you are in a northern region, it would probably be an annual. But I don’t know that for sure! It dies down to the ground here in cold winters. (Yes, it does get cold in Austin. Not Minnesota cold, but enough to kill most tropical/sub-tropical plants.)

There aren’t a whole heck of a lot of recipes for some of the native landscaping plants you can find in Austin. (winecups…they tell me at the Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center that you can eat the tubers. Huh.)

But these are chili peppers. Seriously. This is easy. Mash ’em. Fry ’em. Put ’em in a stew. <<<—waaaiiit. That’s taters. That’s the speech Samwise Gamgee gives to Golum. Wrong plant. WAIT AGAIN. Those capsicum annuums are members of the potato family.

 

 

 

 

American Beauty Berry, Turk’s Cap, and Pomegranate Jelly

 

These are the ingredients available in my yard today. I did not have enough American beauty berry or Turk’s cap fruits to make more than a pint of jelly. So, I took a chance on my pomegranates, which are HIDEOUS this year. I seriously thought they’d be rotted out and full of worms from the looks of them.

HOW APPETIZING IS THAT? I’ll show you the yuck after the recipe. Truly hideous.

INSTRUCTIONS ON HARVEST

  1. Grab a medium-sized bowl and run your fingers under the beauty berries to catch them. They are total escape artists.
  2. If you have any Turk’s cap, pop off the little apples. Then, if you are interested, pull off some flowers. Remove the green part and stamen right in the garden.
  3. You can eat the little apples and the Turk’s cap flowers. A bit plain, to be honest. The flowers are sweeter than the fruits.
  4. You can eat the beauty berries straight off the plant. They are so meh. Like an unripe persimmon. I mean, go right ahead. You won’t get sick. But they aren’t anything to write home about.

RECIPE

This part is hard because you aren’t collecting the usual fruits and berries. This is by no means a science.

I ended up with 1.5 cups of these wild berries, which is not worth my canning time. I added in some questionable looking pomegranates from my yard to get 4 cups of uncooked fruits. Despite their gross appearance, the fruit was fine in the pomegranates. Underripe, of course, given the time of year. But edible.

TO START

  1. 4 cups of berries (The beauty berries and Turk’s cap fruits are not sweet or particularly strong in flavor. If you have like a cup of berries, add a plain tasting fruit to the mix. Apple, maybe. I had pomegranates.)
  2. Clean them (no green parts) and boil down for 20 minutes. Add a few tablespoons of water at first so you don’t burn it.
  3. Mush the mix while boiling to ensure you get a lot of juice.
  4. Put a colander over a bowl. Ladle in the cooked mix and squish through to get what you can of the juices. You can wait until the mix is not boiling hot to do this.

CANNING STEP 1: Sterilize jars

You need to boil a couple of jars for 10 minutes to sterilize. I chose 2 pint jars and 1 half-pint. Just wash the lids in hot water and mild soap. Do not boil them. You’ll ruin the seal.

JELLY MAKING

This year I have been using a low-sugar pectin for a change. The amount of sugar required for regular pectin is terrifying. It’s been a bit of an experiment. For this recipe, I ended up using more sugar than recommended by the label to ensure a solid product.

  1. 3 cups of juice (I had to add water to get there. The mix was fairly pulpy, so the added water helped the texture.)
  2. Citric acid. You must make this mix acidic to ensure that it will jell and be preserved. I used the juice of 2 organic Lemon Drop citrus in my yard. Oh? You don’t have that? Then give up now. KIDDING. Get some lemon juice or something. The concentrate in the little plastic lemon will be fine. 2-3 tbs. Not too tart! Unless you like that.
  3. 3 tbs of low-sugar pectin. Whisk it in gradually. Otherwise you get a lumpy gravy. Rolling boil for 1 minute before adding sugar.
  4. Start with 1/2 cup of sugar, whisked in gradually. Rolling boil for 1 minute. Reduce to low heat.
  5. Get a spoon and put an ice cube on it to cool it. Stick it in the jelly mix. If after about 30 sec-1 minute on the cold spoon it isn’t looking very jelly-like, consider adding a bit more sugar. (This is the hard part. I had a really stiff grape jelly this year using the minimum sugar the product recommended. Use your best judgment. And don’t fret.)
  6. If the jelly looks decently thick (NOT watery, but kind of a syrup), you can stop cooking.
  7. Wait until it is not boiling hot so you do not burn yourself from a splash.
  8. Pour into the sterilized containers. (If you have extra, just grab a clean-but unsterile- container. Pour in, and refrigerate immediately. Use within a week or so.)

CANNING STEP 2: Hot Bath

  1. Place lid and rim around the jelly right away and hand-tighten. Don’t go crazy on the lid. You do want to be able to open it later, right?
  2. BATH TIME! Hard boil water–enough to basically submerge the jars. Then stick them in for 10 minutes (sea level). What happens if you don’t entirely submerge them? Certain death. Kidding! I’ve never had a problem. I eat my stuff within a year. If it looks or smells off when you open the container later, throw it out! Gross. Do not eat spoiled food. Crimeny.

CANNING STEP 3: Despair

  1. OMG. Lid popped and sealed. My jelly is not setting. I am going to cry! What a waste of time. GAHHHH! What do I do?
  2. Hmm. It’s no longer hot to the touch and still watery. I should probably still cry.
  3. Wait! I will put it in the fridge for a bit. ooo. It was fine after an hour. Despair over.
  4. Alternative scene: Oh no. Liquid. Overnight in fridge. I give up! We will have syrup for pancakes. (Good for you!)
  5. Alternative scene 2: Liquid? No. Not on my watch. (Crazy person) I’m opening these jars up and boiling again. More pectin. More sugar! I HAVE MADE A LOAF OF INEDIBLE JELLY. BOW DOWN TO THE BRICK. YOU EAT THE BRICK. EAT IT!

turks-cap-and-beauty-berry-jelly

 

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My pomegranates have suffered this year from the heavy rains. And vicious squirrel attacks. And sunburn.

A good part of the crop has been half-chewed by squirrels and has exploded due to excessive moisture. Exploded, chewed, burnt pomegranates. Ew.

I was surprised to see that the ugly balls actually have decent seeds inside. black-spot-pomegranate

They are underripe. Picked them out of morbid curiosity.

pomegranate-black-spot

Not one bit worm-addled. Huh. Still ugly as cuss on the outside, though.

 

 

 

 

 

Turk’s Cap and Mexican Tarragon Meringues

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Fluffy and Crunchy!

What you’ll need:

  • A decent Recipe for meringue which will include: egg whites, pinch of salt, confectioner’s sugar, and if desired, cream of tartar to stiffen the peaks. Lots can go wrong when you make meringues. Have patience with both the whipping of the whites, inclusion of sugar, and low heat baking. It took me about 2.5 hours of baking at 170-200 to get the cookies to dehydrate and solidify.
  • A handful of Turk’s cap flowers
  • 4-5 Mexican tarragon leaves (also known as Mexican mint marigold)
  • Blender for the sugar and dried flowers
  • Parchment paper
  • Cookie sheet

I endeavor to use the plants in my garden, particularly the native ones, in my cooking. I’ll admit that I haven’t had a whole lot of luck with the Turk’s cap in past recipes because there isn’t much flavor there.

meringue-cookie-turks-cap
One of the many flowers on this bush

I had a ton of egg whites left over from making an icebox lemon pie and had to find a use for them. I don’t care for plain meringues, so I began looking up flavorful recipes. That’s when it hit me: I could use Mexican tarragon for flavor and my Turks cap for color. Mexican tarragon has a slight anise/licorice scent to it, which I figured would add a nice fragrance to this plain fluff of a cookie.

Meringue-cookie-Mexican-tarragon
Mexican tarragon in my garden.

After picking the Turk’s cap, make sure to remove the stamens and any leaf parts that get in there.  They aren’t poisonous, but they will muddle the pink color. Rinse thoroughly to ensure all the little bugs and pollen have been washed off.

Meringue-cookie1

 

Next, you’ll have to dehydrate the tarragon and petals. I set my oven for 250 for 5 minutes and checked on the progress. It took me 15 minutes to get the petals nice and crispy. You’ll note that there is very little tarragon in there–maybe 4-5 leaves. It can become overpowering fast, so it’s best to use just a bit.

meringue-cookie-turks-cap-dehydrateThe next step is to put the confectioner’s sugar in the blender with the desiccated petals. The resulting mix should turn out sort of light pink depending on how many petals you used.

meringue-cookie-sugar
Make sure your petals are very dry or they’ll make a mess of the confectioner’s sugar.

Some bakers insist that you cannot make meringues in humid weather. You can, but you will need to cook them at a lower temperature and for much longer than the 2 hours most recipes provide. I started at 200 degrees, but my meringues started browning. So I turned the over down to 170 for the rest of the process.

Some meringues hardened faster than others. If they are still chewy when you take them out, you haven’t cooked them long enough. Visit Martha Stewart for more advice on meringue cookies.

Startled Stella

startled-stella

I found this lovely dolly at Mercader Antiques in the Houston Heights. Oh, she doesn’t look all that scary in person. Like most of today’s celebrities, she’s been heavily Photoshopped. (Okay, she’s a total wreck in person, too.)

I’d been to that shop before a couple of years ago and noticed their rather extensive doll assortment. I hadn’t bought anything that time, regretfully. This time around, however, I was determined to find myself a really hideous mess to bring home.

In all honesty, this antique shop is totally normal and has nice stuff–including collectable composite dolls in good condition. I ended up grabbing a Patsy Ann doll. I had no idea who or what a Patsy Ann was. All I knew is that the doll looked like my little girl and was in fair enough condition that it was still cute as a button. Patsy Ann is hanging out with my adorable Claudette now.

At this point, I have so many composite dolls from the 1930s that I should probably learn how to clean them up. I learned last night that these dolls’ eyes get all jacked up and cloudy because that is what happens to acrylic doll eyes. I should just probably walk away from this idea, though. I have enough hobbies already.

Winky Wilda

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Winky Wilda was introduced in 1972 by the little-known Lovey Babies Company to compete in the saturated baby doll market. The marketers hoped they could differentiate Wilda from the leading competition by having her look more like a younger sister instead of an infant.

This tactic proved to be a mistake. Hundreds of complaints rained down on Lovey Babies from parents and teachers alike shortly after the Christmas season. Little girls were found beating the doll–some even crushing the dolls’ heads or plucking out one or both eyes.

The reasons behind the vicious attacks were never determined. Nonetheless, Lovey Babies filed for bankruptcy in mid-1973. Hasbro purchased the remaining stock and unused vinyl, which were rumored to have been melted down and made into the first run of My Little Pony’s Cotton Candy.

Since the first run of Cotton Candy has never been related to any acts of violence perpetrated by little girls, rumors that Winky Wilda was cursed or haunted are unsubstantiated.

The most logical theory behind the savage beatings is that the little girls who received Wilda were spoiled brats who likely took pleasure in abusing their younger siblings.