Let me tell you a few things, Kiddo.

I see ya over there, lookin’ all innocent-like. I was like that once too. But then I started runnin’ with a rough crowd. That’s how I ended up behind bars. Don’t be like me. You’re a nice kid. Go home and kiss yer ma and tell ‘er ya love ‘er. And be good.

And if you do get yourself in a pile of poop, remember one thing. Don't let the time do you.

Animal Oddities

I went to Oxbow Park again in Rochester, MN. Sadly, the one-eyed owl was gone…probably to a better place. Disturbingly, it was replaced with an owl with a blind eye. What the hell is going on in Minnesota? Is there some assknocker out there poking at owls’ eyes so we have a sufficient supply of half-blinded owls?

You betcha!

I have to admit, I felt pretty silly after I finally read the information about the wonderful Great Horned Owl (who I would have named the Cat Head Owl on account of the cat ears and eyes). Anyhow, the Latin name for the creature answered a certain question that has been nagging me for decades. Why is that owl in Clash of the Titans called Bubo? Yes, I watched the credits to make sure that “not my precious Bubo’ is spelled ‘bubo.’ Ya know, in espanol it’s called a ‘buho.’ That’s a better name, because that’s what owls say (bwuo!). Bwuo! Bwuo! Say it squatting on a branch with your arms like chicken wings. You’ll see that it’s a superior name.

I learn something new every day. Pretty soon I'll be knowledgeable about something.

This is what Bubo has been up to since his starring role:

Here are other animals with issues:

Pretty sure the porcupines had been roofied.
Eagle told me to tell you this message, "I'm not bald, you morons. I have white feathers. Also, I'm tired of this owl next to us. It's like he doesn't even SEE ME. Total jerk of a neighbor."