Mannequins of the USS Lexington

Soulless automaton. Hmm. Appears to be similar to some of my coworkers.
Soulless automaton. Hmm. Appears to be similar to some of my coworkers.

I do not like mannequins with faces or other human features. Let me explain: I got upset this morning when drinking my McDonald’s coffee because I didn’t like the “face” the plastic lid made when I opened the drink hole. You can imagine the shock to the system that an angry mannequin would be when you are deep in the bowels of a silent, decommissioned battleship.

Looks traumatized by his receptionist job.
Looks traumatized by his receptionist job. For God’s sake: DO NOT SMOKE. He will kill you!

I left out the horrors of the dental examination rooms for your safety. I don’t want you to have any nightmares! My seven-year-old declared the dental exhibit inappropriate. Yes. Somehow it’s creepy as hell to have motion-detectors on your sound system. A sound system blaring out a buzzing drill with a man screaming.

Oh, I don’t want to warn you about that section. It’s best experienced in person.

Overly happy. Do not trust.
Overly happy. Do not trust.
That is, um, a look on your face.
That is, um, a look on your face.

Okay, so the purpose of this project was to use the fisheye lens I rented to enhance the creepy factor of these creepazoids. I just knew there would be something horrid to distort on this old ship. Yay! Museum folks never understand what neurotic people might make of their work.

Or do they???

An army of headless zombies attacks on El Paso Street!

They were directed by two zombies with heads still intact. I was lucky to get out of there alive! As soon as I saw this line of monsters, I took one shot with my camera and ducked down an alley way. Look, if only two of them have heads, best to get out of their line-of-sight as soon as possible. It lessens the chance they’ll fixate on you. Zombies suffer from obsessive thoughts. Use that knowledge to your advantage!

Which dress did you like best? I normally can’t fit the ‘girls’ into those dresses. I know, how tragic that I’m top-heavy. Anyhow, I like that black and white corset a lot–mainly because it is not modeled on a freaking zombie on the move!!!