Mummy Squirrel: Scary shit at my mom’s house

Mummy Squirrel in Repose

When I visited in November, my mother proudly showed me a dead squirrel in her yard. “He ate the D-Con for the chipmunks. Since then, I have been watching him rot away.”

Well, rather than rotting away, it has mummfied.

She was upset when we drove up to the house because her disgusting dead squirrel was lying on the sidewalk. She likes to display Mummy Squirrel on an ash tree instead of on the ground.

My step-dad promptly went outside and rectified the situation. Now it’s back in the tree. It really is worse in person.

Something for your nightmares!

Scary El Paso: Oh, please don’t stop

I draw the line at the following:

1.  Back half of a stuffed lion. (Lion ass? Lionize?)

Lion butt in Dave’s Pawn Shop.

2. Jeggings SKIRTS. No.

2. More icky dolls, next to Jesus on the Cross this time? oooh.

If you look closely, you will find Jesus on the cross. Why he’s chilling with murder babydolls is a good question.

***
The only okay thing:  I have learned that my belly dance costume actually belongs over my El Paso Jeggings. Hmm. Live/learn. Pants are required. Look, I am not born with this  [Oh, i’m not gonna delete the blog post of me in the costume. oooh. We should learn from my mistakes. Please don’t spend the time in this disaster of a blog to find those pics. They suck! I cut my arms off in most of them.

Man, I sure do enjoy talking about myself! Suh-weet-ness that blogs exist.

New Game: Let’s spot the the alien!

Usually, I do not find obvious aliens in my pictures.

I like to believe that the world is like Men in Black and the aliens are undercover pugs with bad teeth. My closely-held belief was challenged today. Observe, if you dare:

1. Here’s a mediocre shot of Austin at night. Wait, what the hell is that on the right?

2.  Um. No really. What the hell is that?

3. Let’s investigate!

Holy shit. We are being invaded by Panther Aliens. Run. RUN YOU FOOLS!

 

 

Oxbow Zoo: The Land of Misfit Animals of Rochester, MN

How long do owls live? Because I have been making fun of “Mr. Who-Who-Who Are YOU?” for quite some time. I tell ya, it’s quite discomforting to see an owl turn it’s circle neck around to look at you. And IT ONLY HAS ONE EYE. I think it’s missing a talon, too.

Too bad the chunky woodchucks were hibernating. Lazy blobs. The otters were still out. So were the porcupines. But the woodchucks? Flopping in their twig and leaf flop house.

The little guys look sweet, but then they get all 'honey badger don't give a shit' on your leg.
I guess there's a reason for the chain link fence for these wolves.
Blinky the Owl
You look edible, Ann. at least your nose and fingers do.
Did you smell that, too?
You are no true patriot, Ann. I know about your Pro-Fish agenda.