I love Hove’ in New Orleans!

It has the only perfumes in the world that don’t crack my sinuses. I can also handle natural essences. I can tell their products are all natural because they wear off in a few hours. Trust me, pthalates are no joke. I’d rather reapply my cosmetic than potentially poison a fetus. Pthalates are the chemicals that make your perfumes have staying power.

My favorite scent is Vetivert, which is a wonderfully aromatic root. However, on my skin, it turns sticky sweet. Not good–I’ll stick to the room spray. I purchased Carnation and Habanera this time. Carnation, foofy flower tho’ it is, has a spicy, slightly clove-like scent. Habanera is spicy–but not the kind that turns icky sweet on my skin and gives me a headache.

I’m a sniff addict. Not snuff! SNIFF. You should see me at a wine tasting. People laugh at my sniffing. Shoot. How else am I supposed to get the full experience? I have a good ‘smiffer,’ even after a fifteen years of steroid nasal sprays. Oh my. A doctor once told me that it looks like I did coke because my sinuses have eroded in the exact location that coke-users experience. Frankly, my dad told me never to do coke because it will make your heart race and give you the sweats and make you paranoid.

He and I both can sleep for ten to twelve hour stretches. But, once you get us up, it’s nonstop batshittery. I won’t go into my crazy shit, but my dad worked rotating shifts at the brewery in Houston on IH 10 and 610 and then drove himself to radiation treatments in Tomball. He get his treatments, feel like crap, and get up and go to work in the morning. He is all better now–cancer-wise.

I can’t speak to the batshittery. Or his obsession with golf.

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Listen, I am not some dang hippy nutter. I’m just convinced by evidence. Let me say this though: If you need pthalates for a medical application, go for it if that’s the only option. The ester has the ability to make plastics more bendy, and that may be very necessary to your treatment or comfort. However, perfume? Screw it. Let’s consult wikipedia.

“Phthalates (pronounced Th-ah-lates) are used in a large variety of products, from enteric coatings of pharmaceutical pills and nutritional supplements to viscosity control agents, gelling agents, film formers, stabilizers, dispersants, lubricants, binders, emulsifying agents, and suspending agents. End-applications include adhesives and glues, agricultural adjuvants, building materials, personal-care products, medical devices, detergents and surfactants, packaging, children’s toys, modelling clay, waxes, paints, printing inks and coatings, pharmaceuticals, food products, and textiles. Phthalates are also frequently used in soft plastic fishing lures, caulk, paint pigments, and sex toys made of so-called “jelly rubber”. Phthalates are used in a variety of household applications such as shower curtains, vinyl upholstery, adhesives, floor tiles, food containers and wrappers, and cleaning materials. Personal-care items containing phthalates include perfume, eye shadow, moisturizer, nail polish, liquid soap, and hair spray.[1] They are also found in modern electronics and medical applications such as catheters and blood transfusion devices.”

But, I loooove fishing lures!

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