The stuff of childhood nightmares (The Banana Splits)

Why would a child want a frigging stuffed banana or (an even more useless) stuffed dollar bill as a carnival prize? These are horrible, horrible items. They should not exist. If I had flamethrower, I would have been a hero. A freaking hero for torching the whole stand. No baby should be forced to look at this scene.

I wish I were making this up. My three yr old sat next to me just now and saw a preview of the Banana Devil. He screamed in terror, “No! Get it off! No!” Damned banana and it’s gleeful, murderous grin. Gah!

My beloved, Sergio, related a story to me after having the misfortune of seeing the above picture. (It was worse in person. He was at least spared the hell I experienced.)

“What the hell is that? It reminds me of that stupid show in the afternoons when I was a kid. I want to say that they alternated it with the Super Friends. It was the Banana Splits. It was like a poison in my mouth.”

I went to wikipedia. The Banana Splits was brought back in 2008. Sergio’s response?

“What kind of evil would bring that show back?”

I wish I had an answer. It was a shitty, shitty show. I watched the clip below and a couple others. Even the canned laughter seems confused and forced.

Just wait until the part where Lolita shakes her thang for the camera. Not even kidding. She’s a Sour Grape Delivery Boy, I Mean Girl.

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